Stories of YES #59 - God's most precious jewels

 

"What if we had said no?

 

We could have. 

We should have. 

On paper it was a bad idea.

Many told us we shouldn’t do it. 

Many said it wasn’t wise.

 

We already had 3 jewels.

We didn’t have the finances.

We didn’t have space in our house.

We were already so tired.

We didn’t plan on having more jewels.

We were already deep in trauma parenting.

 

Parenting was already so hard.

What would people think.

How would we do it.

 

This was what we considered. These were some of our obstacles when we were praying through adopting our Kody.

 

This is what we have considered and prayed through every time we’ve heard God call us to adopt. Usually the list of why not to do it is bigger than our reasons to do it.

 

But God. He still called us.

But God. We still said yes.

But God. He still wants to use us to take care of His precious jewels.

 

Right now there’s about 100,000 kids in the United States in foster care who ARE paper ready and waiting for a family. And so many more also waiting globally.

 

I’m so so thankful we said yes. We didn’t have to. We could have said no.

But God. He writes the best stories. This jewel is amazing and I love being his mom. As is each one of our jewels."

- Maria Hansen-Quine

Giving Tuesday 2020 - A Wish for this Child-Headed Household

 

 

This "Child-Headed Household" in Uganda is held together by two teenage sisters looking after their younger siblings. Their mother is deceased and their father abandoned them. Well, those smiles are there because of your help, and this precious family is now the focus of our #GivingTuesday mission!

 

Maria and Olivia - 15-year-old twins - have been raising their five younger siblings on their own since February. The younger children are Fiona - 13, Charlotte - 9, Stella - 7, George - 5 and baby Leo - 11 months. Since they've been living alone, all of the children dropped out of school, one was trafficked (she's just been located and reunited with her siblings), and the seven and five year old have been threatened with kidnapping. The youngest was placed in an orphanage three months ago, after being treated for severe malnutrition, and the orphanage has agreed to resettle baby Leo, back with his family in two months! Because of our donors recent support, our partner organization has reunited Fiona (the sister who was trafficked) with her siblings, hired a live-in caregiver to keep the kids together, provided new bedding, clothing, food, and essentials, and installed steel doors and windows to keep the children temporarily safe.

After a full evaluation, it's been determined that their house is - tragically - not repairable. Not only that, but we'll need to provide for a plot of land for them to build upon. Because of the outpouring of support from our initial plea for this family, along with support through our Facebook Holiday shop, we've already raised $4,000 for this project, which means that we only need to raise $6,500 to make this happen!

 

Will you join us in giving these children new HOPE on Giving Tuesday? Your involvement is critical to our success in funding this new house for these children. Thank you!

 

Cost breakdown: House: $4,998, Kitchen: $405, Latrine: $473, Tippy Tap: $27, Rain Water Harvesting: $540, Solar Power: $270, Plot of land: $4,000

DONATE HERE

 

Stories of YES #58 - Our Plan "A"

 

In our twelve years of marriage (pre-Millie), we were asked often, “When are you going to have kids?” When I was younger, I remember saying, “If we have kids, we would like to adopt” but I was conditioned that this statement would be met with negativity and judgment. So, we learned to keep our dream private. By the time we were ready to grow our family, we had an immense amount of anxiety over making our announcement. And we received a widerange of reactions. While some were very excited for us, we also received a lot of uninvited questions...

“Why would you want to do that?”
“Can you not have your own kids?”
“You think you can handle a kid with special needs?”

Anyone who has adopted knows what I’m talking about. These responses seem to be very common. With every similar comment, I felt I was hearing a child - my child - wasn’t worthy. When you say “YES” to having a child, you open the floodgate to an endless amount of worry and outcomes, whether you are adopting or having biological children. We wanted to have a child and a child needed a family, it seemed simple to us. We had love and a home to give, so we did just that. We, in no way, felt attached to the idea of having biological kids, so why would we try? There should be no shame in that.
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As far as having a child with special needs, we felt that it would just be a different path in parenting - one we felt we needed to take. There seems to be these stigmas attached to adoption that I wish we could squash. In adoption - and in life - I feel it’s only necessary to listen to your heart and your partner. Those are the only true things that matter. There is no wrong path in choosing to adopt - every child deserves a family.
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I guess I’m hopeful that by being so open and honest, someone may read this and know that adoption doesn’t need to be their "Plan B". And others may be more aware of their own reaction when hearing the news of a friend that is pursuing adoption. It’s a decision that no one takes lightly. The adoption process involves much soul searching, discussion, and a tremendous effort goes into this journey. Only encouraging things should be said about that.
- Christine Deason

 

Stories of YES #57 - Pure JOY

 

We were both over thirty when we were married, getting pregnant wasn’t easy, so our family was initially formed through adoption. Sam came to us when he was 1 day old and Skylar arrived when she was 2 ½ yrs old. Our adoption journey through foster care was a three-year emotional roller coaster. Finally, we got the phone call that we had been matched to be their forever family! Despite suffering through five years of infertility, we found out we were pregnant with Rileigh just one month after that call. We knew, right then and there, that God had a special plan for our family, and adoption was going to be a big part of our lives. Two years after Rileigh was born, we were pregnant with Quinn and our lives were full. Or so we thought…
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Recently, our church has become more mission focused and helping the widows and the orphans is high on the agenda. We have followed two families’ adoption journeys and supported them as they recently brought three beautiful children home from China combined. We prayed, we read, we were inspired. That inner feeling lingered for days, for weeks, for months. Finally, one day my husband said to me, “Let’s adopt again!” My heart jumped for joy!
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We searched through the various advocacy sites and the children with Down syndrome pulled at my soul. I thought, “They are so lovable, but I couldn’t do that… I don’t even know anyone with Down syndrome.” But these precious children lingered in my mind, so I prayed and just a month later (again, just took one month) God answered that prayer and placed a little girl with Down syndrome in my preschooler’s class. My daughter became friends with this little girl, and I’ve had the pleasure of becoming friends with her mom too. Turns out, Down syndrome is not so scary after all. As I was checking one of the Down syndrome waiting child advocacy sites, we saw a delightful little girl with a mischievous smile and we knew… she would fit perfectly into our family and we would be blessed to have her. We will name her Joy.
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We have had Joy home now for almost two years. She has just been amazing to parent. She is so incredibly sweet and loves to play with her older brother and sisters. She wants to be included in EVERYTHING we do. If another child gets to ride on the tube on the back of the boat at the lake, then Joy wants to do it too. If another child gets to go snow skiing, then Joy wants to do it too. She is a bright light in this world and her smile delights everyone she meets. She loves others with every ounce of her being.
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We were prepared for all kinds of behaviors, since children who are adopted come from hard places and some behaviors are more common with children who have Down syndrome, however we haven’t experienced any behavioral concerns with Joy. She gets along well with other children. She is a good listener and does very well at her medical appointments. She has no medical conditions or other diagnoses. She sees our pediatrician once a year, sees an ENT once a year to have her ears checked, and gets her eyes checked for glasses each year. She is simply a regular kid! We have to work with her a little differently as we go through Kindergarten but we have seen her make tremendous progress with her verbal communication, her colors and letters, and even sight reading with the So Happy to Learn program.
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Adopting a child with Down syndrome may sound crazy to some, but I can assure you that she is worth every extra effort we make. She literally fills us with JOY...every single day. 

- Dianna Conboy

“In the New Testament, we don't find our gift through self-examination and introspection and then find ways to express it. Instead, we love one another, serve one another, help one another, and in so doing we see how God has equipped us to do so.”
― Russell D. Moore, Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches

Say Yes Spotlight - The Peters family

 

The Peters family recently adopted PRECIOUS baby Silas domestically as a newborn with Down syndrome and intestinal issues. Silas is going through a lot of testing right now, and seeing specialists almost daily, with the hope his intestines can be fully repaired. Thankfully, he is off of a feeding tube and they are planning for surgery in November. The Peters are praising God that the two heart defects Silas was born with have already healed! They say Silas is such a joy to have in the house, and and he is doing absolutely fantastic in his new family! 

 

Scott and Jessica met in high school and have been married for seventeen years. They have five biological children and they are all excited about having baby Silas in their family. Jessica enjoys homeschooling their children, and Scott’s employer is allowing him to use his parental leave for Silas's upcoming surgeries. Jessica takes the book of James to heart and wants to work for Jesus. She shares, “Part of that work is to care for widows and orphans in their distress. It has been our honor to help widows in their struggle through their new lives without their husbands. God is showing us how to care for them. My next goal is to step into a child’s life before she/he could become an orphan and make them part of our family.” Scott continues, “God has given my wife Jessica a tremendous love for children. He laid it on her heart to seek out someone who did not have a mother and father to care for them. I soon caught the vision that she had and have a strong desire to see someone snatched from a life of uncertainty and neglect to a life of stability and care. We are commanded in scripture to take care of orphans and widows and I cannot think of a better way to do it then seeking out a child in need of adoption.” 

 

We ask for your prayers for baby Silas to adjust well in his family and for supernatural guidance as they navigate through his medical needs. The Peters brought Silas home with the help of our "Say Yes" Downright Lovable grant - and this one was made possible through royalties of the book

Extraordinary Adoption, so thank you for being a part of bringing him home! Who knew that buying a book could help make such extraordinary things happen?!?

Stories of YES #56

 

She's a friend. She's a fierce mama. And she's also an adoptee.

Dani was adopted internationally from Colombia at almost seven years of age. She was adopted into a wonderful and loving forever family, and though she - admittedly - lets the unhappy childhood parts get in the way sometimes, she says, "I live in gratitude everyday for the life I have today. I recognize, as an adoptee, that I have these blessings because I was adopted. Most importantly, I've learned to treasure my own children how I wish I had been. They are blessings from God given to us as gifts to be treasured."

On a personal note, I'll never forget when our son, in second grade, entered into a new program - and a new class - at school. The entire class had been together for a couple of years, with the exception of our son who was having trouble adjusting and being accepted. Dani read my Facebook post, written from the distraught heart of a mother, and she quickly took the charge to change things for him. After all, she knew how desperately a child can long to be accepted at that age, and our son - like her - had been adopted. Dani invited our son to play with hers. Not once - but again, and again, and again. It took a few months for these boys of a similar nature to come out of their shells, but once they did it was golden. And then, she didn't hesitate - nor did the boys - to bring our other (adopted) son into the mix. Three years later, they're musketeers and we're so thankful for their sweet friendship. She feeds their bellies and their souls. She has house rules but she allows them to be kids. Dani's an open book, and the message on her shirt resonates so deeply within her heart. Our family is grateful for her beautiful open heart.

We recognize and acknowledge that adoption is born from loss and not all adoption stories are "rainbows and unicorns" but we always praise the Lord for the happily ever after..." 

 

- Lisa Murphy, Open Hearts for Orphans

Stories of YES #55 - Perspective on older child adoption: Feeling Family

 

A couple of weeks ago we were talking about older child adoption with some friends who are currently in process for an older boy. Andrew knows them, and we were asking him if he ever got out of the orphanage when he lived in China, what did he think of the “outside world”? I recalled how he told me he once went to a wedding with one of his nannies (he was a favorite for obvious reasons ) I said, “Yeah, wasn’t it her daughter’s wedding or something?” He said he didn’t know whose wedding it was but he remembers going to one. And then he said something that made us all stop and we had to process what his words meant.

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He said, “I didn’t even know what that meant...‘daughter’ or ‘son.’ I didn’t even know that existed. I thought we were all just human.”

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This is my 14 year old son recalling what his 10-year-old self thought about family. To be clear… he didn’t know what family even was. Can you imagine? He realizes now, in hindsight, he didn’t know what the concept of ‘family’ meant. It’s hard for us to even comprehend that for the same reason it was hard for him to understand what it meant to be a son. When all you’ve ever known is living in an institution with caregivers who come and go, it isn’t something that crosses your mind.

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Growing up in an orphanage is not how children should be raised. But for some children, it’s just all they know… until they FEEL what family is, they don’t understand what they are missing. It’s maybe one of the saddest paradoxes in our world today. They are living day to day, in a constantly changing, ever uncertain environment, and they make the best of it because they are kids and it’s all they know. But WE know better. And so we can do better, for them.

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Family isn’t blood, it isn’t a name, it isn’t proximity... it’s unconditional, never gonna give-up, you before me kinda love. It isn’t always pretty, it’s far from perfect, and it will test you over and over again, but family is for everyone… and everyone deserves family.

-Alison Dewberry Dri

Stories of Yes #54 - I didn't sign up for this

 

 

I grew up in a Christian home. I was baptized in Jr. High after many wonderful summers of Church camp. Maybe my end mindset had changed, but that didn’t change all my actions on a daily basis. Actually, I became quite wild in high school and ended up having my beautiful daughter at the young age of twenty, ending my college career and my childhood. Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets ending those things for my beautiful girl. I truly believe because of her, I am alive and where I am today.

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But I didn’t sign up for this.

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Or at least I didn’t know that when I truly fully gave my life over - that it meant my heart would completely shatter for what breaks His. Especially shattered after every orphaned face I saw. And that's when I said yes to loving children, not just once - but multiple times - that were not born from my own blood, and that I would love unconditionally - as if they did.

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I did not sign up for this though.

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You see, when I gave my life over fully, which some days, (actually MANY days), I still struggle with, I didn’t sign up for the "easy." I didn’t sign up for everything to go MY way - I signed up for His. I signed up for what He needed me to do, FOR WHO He needed me to do for. I didn’t know that I signed up for the hard, for the unimaginable or incomprehensible. For the life that doesn’t make sense to the average person and is many times mocked for that kind of radical mindset.

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But I also didn’t sign up for this.

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For this life that has come so inconceivably easy. So easy to love, to navigate, to work as a team - I didn’t sign up for it. But I am so grateful I said yes to it. Our days are not always easy, I won’t pretend that they are, but they are worth it, every second. And if there are 2.4 BILLION Christians in this world, I pray that they start letting God break through their hearts, because you will learn, and LOVE, the life that you didn’t sign up for.

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And then maybe the Church could start making a dent in our worldwide orphan crisis." - Jocelyn Piper

 

A Movement to Love Them All

 

It sounds easy, doesn't it? I mean, who doesn't agree that we should "love them all?" But, are we willing to fight for them all? Are we willing to look past race, religion, skin color, geography, illness, and meet basic needs where they're at? Are we willing to embrace the truth that ALL orphaned and abandoned children in the world are worthy and deserving of love and families - no matter what color their skin is, no matter where they were born? 

 

Sometimes, "loving them all" is about more than geography...sometimes it's about a journey that few will understand - a faith-driven mission to adopt and care for God's precious children with special needs - those who are medically-fragile or live with disabilities. Despite an uncertain diagnosis; despite how long these children will be granted on earth, despite the hardships these parents know they'll likely face - those who "love them all" see a different finish line. They see with a different set of eyes than the rest of the world, and they race against time to love these children - reaching far beyond earthly comfort zones. And, in doing so, they receive the most unexpected blessings. "Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Sometimes "loving them all" means meeting them in their darkest hours and being the warmest beam of light they've ever felt in their lives. Some of them malnourished or starving, some of them in critical condition and in desperate need of medical intervention, some of them rescued from a tragic situation such as abuse or human trafficking.

Sometimes we have the privilege of caring for orphaned or abandoned children face to face, when we can speak our love into their very souls. And sometimes it comes not from our own hands directly, but - rather - through the loving actions of others, and it's through our financial provision. As the world turns, will we be the ones to make a difference?

 

Sometimes "Loving Them All" means acknowledging the plight of child trafficking as it pertains to orphaned and abandoned children. Not surprisingly, orphaned children are among the most at-risk population to be preyed upon. The possibilities for abuse are frightening. Children are sold as cheap labor. Some may end up in the dark world of prostitution, their innocence torn from them.There are even stories of traffickers harvesting human organs for sale on the black market. Children…like yours and mine.

Children in orphanages can be easy targets for traffickers. They are especially vulnerable due to the lack of stable parental figures. The schedules and isolation of orphanages makes it easy to coerce children to leave and find ways to exploit them. Even when orphaned children age out of an institution, vulnerability continues as some of these evil humans will sit and wait for those who children to leave.

Trafficking is a documented global problem that defies borders. This evil does not discriminate in age, race, or skin color. What we can express with confidence is that God designed the family as the best environment for children. Safe, permanent, loving family must be our goal whenever possible. And when it isn’t, we must find solutions that are as close to that as possible, such as foster care. When a child experiences the protection and love of at least one consistent, caring adult relationship, evildoers are far less likely to pursue them. and if we care about human trafficking, we must care for orphaned children and foster youth wherever the need may be.

 

Will we respond, or will we turn a blind eye to the hurting and vulnerable because it's just easier to do so...

 

 

If not us, then who? If WE are not willing to put our hearts on the line and BE the Gospel, who will? Friends, we can't rely on others to stand in that gap. WE need to be the first line of offense in answering that call and loving them all. 

Through support of adoption and foster care, we CAN be the change. Even if we aren't able to answer that call ourselves, we can support those who do. And we can support reputable orphan care missions for the countless children who are locked away in institutions, unaware of what the outside world even looks like.

Will you answer the call to love them all?  Here's an easy place to start.  By supporting our "Love Them All" apparel fundraiser, you'll be supporting our mission to help orphaned and abandoned children around the world.  One child - one heart - at a time. Love them ALL.

 

 

Stories of Yes #53 - Fear Factor

 

 

Do you remember "Fear Factor" from about fifteen years (or so) ago? It was a reality show of challenges that marched contestants into their greatest fears that ranged from plunging off a building, to lying in a bed of snakes, to eating something incredibly disgusting like worms, bugs...or worse. The adoption process has a fear factor, too. The challenges obviously look a little different:

“How can we ever afford this?”
“Is it possible for us to love this child who doesn’t share our DNA?”
“Will we ruin our other kids by adopting?”

These fears are REAL and present factors that can enter into our minds.

One of our personal "fear factors" became special needs, and each one of our adoptions was almost like climbing a ladder with rungs of doubt to overcome that paralyzing word—FEAR.

“I could never parent a child with special needs.”
“I could never adopt a child with a serious heart condition.”
“I could never adopt an older child.”
“I could never parent a child with cognitive delays.”

I'm ashamed to admit that these were all thoughts that, at some point, belonged to me. As much as I hate it, I owned them all. One by one, we climbed another rung and faced those fears head-on. And I, ultimately, realized those were all limitations that I put on myself. God's plans were obviously so much better than mine.

I stand amazed - as I reflect on each one of those objections - how God has used every one of our adoptions as a gateway—a gateway to a more open heart. He knew there was so much more in me - in us. We now live with all of these "I could nevers" in our home, and in our hearts.

You see, alone—I couldn't. But with faith—we could.

God is the source of our strength. God is the source of our courage to say yes to all of the fears and doubts and "I could nevers" that could have stopped us from embracing the biggest blessings of our lives...all five of them. We simply needed to listen, to trust, and to be obedient. Is it always easy? Nope. I would be lying if I said it was. There are days that I literally scrape for grace. But then, there are days when I look at our beautiful crew and the very thought that we could have missed this brings tears to my eyes.

The thing is,
when you walk through that fire—
when you leap over that edge—
when you conquer that fear factor—

the reward you receive is far greater than anything you could ever imagine or dream of. 

- Lisa Murphy

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

 

Stories of Yes #52 - The YES that changed a country

 

He's humble and kind, and Aditya Tiwari has changed history in his home country of India by revamping the adoption laws. On September 13, 2014, Aditya walked into an orphanage for the first time in his life and he was saddened by the discovery that all the children had been adopted except one - a little baby boy, about six months old, with a diagnosis of Down syndrome. When the authorities told Aditya that nobody wanted to adopt that child, he instantly knew that he did. He believed with all his heart that this baby boy, who had faced rejection since he was left by his birth parents in the orphanage, was deserving of love like any other child. And his life was about to change.

Aditya's desire to adopt Avnish, affectionately known as "Binny," propelled him into a new world of learning about adoption laws in his country, and he realized that he wasn’t eligible for adopting any child in India because the minimum age requirement for a single parent to adopt was 30 years at the time. Aditya was 27. In a country where adoption itself is full of prejudice, a single man choosing to adopt a child - and one with special needs at that - had to overcome a lot of hurdles. It was a difficult journey for Aditya, bombarded with questions about why he wanted to adopt a child, especially one who is differently-abled, and he faced prejudices of being a single male mother-figure. But that wasn't going to stop him from giving that baby a home.

Aditya began correspondence with all national leaders, including the Prime Minister, requesting that they consider his case as exceptional, but the government initially rejected his request. Aditya kept fighting though, highlighting his concerns to the government. It took him nearly 1.5 years to convince the authorities, but he did. And on January 01, 2016, Aditya Tiwari became the youngest single parent in India to adopt a child with special needs. In addition, the minimum age for a potential parent in India was reduced to 25, thanks to Aditya's determined efforts.

Later that year, Aditya got married to his wife, Arpita, and fast forward five years - Aditya quit his IT job, and he and his wife have started their own support group called Avnish Social Welfare Society, where they counsel parents who wish to adopt, and those who are parenting differently-abled children. Most recently, Aditya also started working on a project aimed at providing employment to people with special needs, and they support a bakery in Kolkata that employs persons with disabilities. Now, Aditya is working on spreading awareness for special needs, creating livelihood options for people with disabilities and highlighting the gaps in special needs laws to the government of India. He tries his best to help change people’s attitude towards children and people with special needs wherever he goes.

Aditya has said, "My son was my inspiration, my driving force, who helped me fight the battle. It took almost one-and-a-half years to finally get his custody but it was all worth it. Avnish was 22 months old when I brought him home. Since then, I have learned so many things from my son. The child who was born with special needs, and had serious health issues including a hole in his heart, started walking within six months. His health showed remarkable improvement. Avnish is now in Kindergarten and thriving. All of this was nothing short of a miracle.”

Aditya, we celebrate your open heart and your fight for vulnerable children. THANK YOU for being a champion in the world!!!  

Check out his inspirational TED talk about adoption: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRQCgh_tNjM

Say Yes Spotlight - the Deason family

Miles and Christine began their adoption journey in November 2018 with Holt International, and they were just going through the tedious steps - mentally prepared that it could be years before they were matched with a child. To their surprise, they saw pictures of their daughter in March 2019. For a few months, Christine had been receiving emails from RainbowKids, an adoption and waiting-child advocacy site, but one particular email spoke to her heart and had a link to a bio. When Miles and Christine saw this little girl's face and watched the short video attached, they just knew she was meant to be theirs!

The next several months felt like a whirlwind to the Deasons and Holt did an incredible job making it as easy as possible for them. We were thankful to aide in their financial burden for this family in April 2019 through our "Say Yes"™ Adoption Grant, and Christine says it was truly a miracle how it all came together. Miles and Christine traveled to China in October 2019 to meet their daughter in person and finalize their adoption. In Christine's words, "It was such a wonderful experience and still feels so surreal. She’s such an extraordinary kid! She has a unique gift of always staying positive and silly, and she has taught us so much in such a short amount of time. We are beyond blessed to be her family and feel like WE are the luckiest humans on the planet." 

Say Yes Spotlight - The Athman family

Chris and Kysa Athman, one of our 2020 "Say Yes"™ grant families, started the process to become foster parents when their daughter, Reagan, was just one year old. They were prayerful each step of the way, wanting God to lead and to have an open heart for any child. They ended up with a sibling group of two, followed by their half-brother and another biological daughter. This busy family has five children with an age span of just 3 ½ years.

They write, “Saying yes to those three kids who would become our children has grown us tremendously in ways I think only other Christian adoptive parents can understand. These kids have taught us more profoundly of God’s great love for us. That he leaves the 99 and goes after the one, that’s us and that’s our children (all 5 of them). Adoption (and giving God the reins of our life) is in our souls and we are confident God is asking us to step out in faith again. His plans have continued to be far greater than ours have ever been. It’s really been an honor to watch him work.”

About a year ago, Kysa felt God whispering that they were not done yet. They considered another foster to adopt placement but felt pulled instead to Down syndrome children in countries where their lives are not valued or protected. They desire to push back against that lack of compassion and that has led them to a precious little boy in China.
 
Like so many families, the Athmans are now at an agonizing standstill in this process, and each day of waiting is a day more that their beloved son is without a family. Please continue to lift them - and all of the other waiting families - in your prayers during this extremely trying time. Please remember their little ones, too. May they all feel HOPE through the Lord's presence in this wait. ❤️🙏❤️

Stories of Yes #51 - HOPE in the village

"All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to be was a mom. For years, I was a temporary mom, filling in the gap for so many. Taking risks, giving my heart away, saying yes, getting attached, so that a child could know the love of a mother. And it was so worth it. Every heartache, every sleepless night, will always be worth it if it means a child gets a chance to know love.
Now here I am at 24, forever mom to 3 amazing kiddos here on earth, and 2 angels that ran ahead of me to heaven. I’m living a miracle that feels like a dream.
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If you’re considering foster care or adoption, or chasing whatever calling God has placed on your life, my advice to you is this: go all in, say yes, do the hard. You will never regret the love you give away, or the time you invest in the life of a child. Jesus is infinitely greater than anything this world has to offer. He doesn’t promise us that it will be easy, but he promises us it will be worth it." 

- Addisyn López

Stories of Yes #50 - Pool conversation

“Oh, how old is he?”
“He’s six. “

“Is he in school yet?”
“I’m homeschooling him and he’s delayed a bit, especially with speech.”
“Why is he delayed?”
“Well, he has Down syndrome and he has some institutional delays.”
“He has Down syndrome?!? But he looks so normal!”

Mmhmmmm. I’ve gotten this observation before. I’m never quite sure how to respond and I wish, wish, wish this statement wasn’t within earshot of him.

And I know there’s no ill intent when people say this, I know it’s said as if it’s a compliment or something but if you dig deeper into this statement, the observer is implying that others with DS look “abnormal”. (Even though everyone can see they are uniquely beautiful)

And I do wish that people could see, really see Lian for the miracle that he is. I wish you could clearly comprehend how he survived what he survived to get to where he is today. That he’s a fighter. That he has endured massive losses, that he fights harder, longer, deeper for every goal in his brief six years than most of us have in our decades of existence.

To reduce his existence down to how he looks, his “normal” appearance to American eyes.....I wish I could somehow communicate how he basically somehow survived a chromosomal storm in utero and made it to birth. He survived a baby drop box. He survived an orphanage for three years. He’s a fighter. He struggles to learn, to speak, but he tries and tries again. He loves with his whole stubborn heart even though he has lost not one but two mothers in the first three years of his life.

And he still loves. He still gives.

So, no, he’s not normal. He’s amazingly abnormal in every way. Look past the outward appearance to the heart.

- Cady Driver

Stories of Yes #49 - Keeping it Real

“Are they REAL sisters?” the woman asks with a big, enthusiastic smile. We are at a new school and she runs the summer program. She has fallen in love with the girls and wants to know all about their past. She is warm and kind and my stomach sinks. I have been doing this for 24 years: educating people about adoption.
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I say “of course” as she pushes on what she really means: “But were they sisters in China? Are your five girls BIOLOGICALLY related?” Hope and Ellie stand there wanting this answer, too. Listening to the “realness” of their family be dissected.
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“They are sisters now,” I say firmly. “Real sisters!” She doesn’t get it. She has more questions. The snarky part of me wants to answer with: “So tell me how you were conceived. How did you end up in your family? A little too much wine on Friday night? Are you sure that’s your REAL dad?”
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Because here is the thing: no one would say that. It’s nosy and unkind and none of my business. So why doesn’t anyone understand that’s how it is for adoptees? Their stories are painful. There isn’t a way around this truth: to gain a family you must lose a family. You must lose everything. And that isn’t a story to tell in the pick-up line with other kids and parents within ear shot.
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Let me, once again, speak our truth: we are a REAL family. We love. We grieve. We fight. We forgive. We extend grace. Even here, we extend grace. Keeping it real..." 

- Cindy Newland

Say Yes Spotlight - the Hayashi family

Jonathan is the Worship and Discipleship Pastor and Kennedi is the Children’s Ministry Director at Troy First Baptist Church in Troy, MO. They have two girls, Kaede (age 4) and Anna (age 2) and they are in the process of adopting Seiji, a precious little three-year-old boy living in a Bulgarian orphanage. Their girls love playing outside, and they can't wait to have a brother to play with!

Jonathan and Kennedi first reviewed Seiji's adoption file in February of 2019. They moved through the tedious process, and like so many families they feared how Covid-19 would affect their adoption travel. But they were given miraculous timing and were able to take their first "meeting trip" in February before Bulgaria shut down. And due to the way Bulgarian adoption works, their presence was not necessary in court since they had signed power of attorney documents while on their trip so that a lawyer could represent them. They passed court on May 29th, and Seiji officially became their son! And this week, they received the joyous news that the country is ready to resume the adoption service processing, and they will be flying to Bulgaria on July 2nd to bring their son HOME!! What an encouraging announcement for waiting families! There is a mandated 14-day quarantine which will extend their trip, but both of them will - thankfully - be able to travel regardless of the extension.

The Hayashis were recipients of our "Say Yes"™ Downright Lovable grant specifically for families adopting children with Down syndrome. Kennedi says, "The Lord has provided everything we could have imagined, and Open Hearts for Orphans played a big part in His plan! The greatest reason we said yes to adoption is because of the Lord’s call to “Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked” Psalm 82:3-4. God adopted us as our sons and daughters and we celebrate the gift of adoption by welcoming Seiji Gabriel into our family!"

We would sure appreciate your prayers for this family as they prepare for their final journey to bring little Seiji home forever.

Say Yes Spotlight - The Henderson family

If you are in the adoption community, then perhaps you've seen this Texas family in the news. They are one of our "Say Yes"™ grant recipients, and they are fiercely advocating - alongside many other families - to get their daughter home through international adoption in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. As relations become more tense between China and the US, the Henderson family is holding their hope on a provision that allows Americans to travel for humanitarian reasons, and they are working with the state department and lawmakers to see if that provision would allow the "stuck" families to travel to China to bring their children home.

"My husband and I have always said that we are never going to stand before God and repent for helping another orphan. We were not originally planning on adding a fifth child, but we felt the spirit continually prodding us to take the next step, so we said yes again. In the end, it came down to if we trusted God more than our fear and our plans. All four of our children were completely on board which helped us to take each step with more peace," Ginny says.

Trent is a pastor and Ginny is a physical therapist, which has led to their openness to adopt children with disabilities. Piper, who just turned seven, will be their third special needs adoption from China, and they have two biological sons. Ginny met Piper in person last September when she traveled on a Loving Ambassadors trip volunteering as a Physical Therapist. Ginny felt a bond and, though they weren't looking to adopt at the time, Ginny couldn't fathom leaving Piper as an orphan knowing the extent of her medical issues and the unknowns that need to be addressed and treated for her.

Ginny states that God's provision has been incredible and they have seen funding come in within 2-3 days of each payment due. "The Lord is so good," she contends. We are thankful that Open Hearts for Orphans was able to play a small part in that provision for this family. Please pray that the Hendersons, and other families waiting in limbo, are able to travel quickly to meet the children they've been legally - and lovingly - matched with. The Hendersons hope to be united with Piper this summer.

Say Yes Spotlight - The Woertman family

Fred and Candy have five adult children, five school-aged children, and four grandchildren. Six of their children came to them through adoption, and they are having so much fun that they've decided to make room for one more! The family has been matched with a precious little girl who turned six earlier this year and has Down syndrome. She is living in an orphanage in Equador.

Fred just finished his 25th year of teaching middle school, and is often called the “kid whisperer.” Candy put her teaching career on hold to be with the kids and enjoys being a Teacher’s Assistant at the elementary school where all five little ones attend.

Down syndrome is not a new special need for Candy and Fred as parents, and this will be their third child rocking an extra chromosome. In 2017, they adopted their daughter, Joy, from China at the age of 7. And in 2018, they brought home their son, Timothy, from China who was nine at the time. Open Hearts for Orphans was delighted to play a small part in Timothy's adoption through our "Say Yes" Downright Lovable grant. He has been an absolute joy and such a bright light in their lives. Candy says "Timmy is so sweet. When we watch television, he likes to be near me and hold my hand or my arm. Every once in a while he will rub it. He and Joy are BEST friends and literally play all day together."

The Woertmans are so excited to give their YES one more time to adopting the little girl that has had Candy's heart for two years now. We were - once again - honored to offer them a "Say Yes" Downright Lovable grant for this extra-special adoption, and they hope to travel by the end of this year. Please pray for that timeline to remain and also for this family as they endure uncertainties in the wait to be united with their daughter.

The Decade of Daniel

Can I tell you about our first hours together?  I knew - the minute I held that boy - he was mine.  The Mama bear in me didn't waste any time to jump out of my own unprepared skin and take hold of a sick and feverish child that needed so much more than love alone.  Jim and I gradually nursed him back to health in his birth country,  not knowing that the repair of his heart condition would ultimately take him from us in short time on our home soil.  Those rosy cheeks,  his milky white skin,  his cherry lips,  his Elmo-ish voice - Lord,  thank you for the most precious gift.  And now,  it hits me...how can ten years have possibly passed since we held that boy for the last time?  I just don't know...

What I do know is that we can't rewrite the story.  We can't go back in time - ten years ago - and change our choices about Daniel's heart surgery and how his life ended here on earth.  Lord,  if we could,  I promise I would be so much smarter.  I would have known so much more.  I would have researched more...

I would have,
I would have,
I would have.

But - regretfully - I can't change it now.

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Jesus has now been holding him for 120 months when we only held him for just over 120 days. Sometimes my brain screams silently in the agony that few understand, and sometimes the joyful beat of his heart is so loud and clear in my brain that it completely overtakes my sorrow.  It's all just so complex...some days tear me apart,  but then most days I find a way to look at the blessings and celebrate the fact that we were - we were able to spend a birthday together,  a Valentine's Day together,  an Easter together, a Mother's Day together.  And I delight in awe that he was born on February 2nd - 40 days after Christmas, on the Candlemas or the Feast of the Presentation of Jesus Christ,  and then he died was born into eternal life on the Holy Trinity - the Feast day honoring the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  It felt like a great big holy God-hug saying "I've got him!"  I trust the Lord with all my heart, and I know we did what we thought was best at the time - that I loved with all I had  was enough.  I think of Daniel's first mother, and I feel the sting of tears.  Does she wonder where he is in the world?   Will she ever know he's safe with Jesus?

 

Since then,  I've looked to mentor devastated mamas who walk the same painful path.  It surely takes one to know one when it comes to child loss,  and adoption adds an extra layer of hard when you've survived the palpable pains of an adoption process with all the red tape and approvals and paperwork and waits and obstacles.  It seems so unfair to trek all that way across the globe and then lose everything just four months later.  But, yet, we haven't really lost, have we?  Ten years into this newly-paved road of emotional twists and turns,  I know, without doubt,  I'm changed for the better.  I'm richer in spirit and clothed in humility;  my tested and seasoned soul so much wiser.  Compassion lives in me so boldly for God's most vulnerable.  It's like part of Daniel's soul somehow melded  into mine;  like all of who he was,  is now living in me.

While we can't rewrite his story,  what we can do is keep writing the story God made for His purpose.  The beauty from ashes is evident in three more children home after Daniel.  Each additional gift from God is a sweet reminder of him and they know his name - they know his face.  We always have five children even when the headcount is four.  Ignorance is such bliss, isn't it?  If we had only known that four months after meeting our son,  we'd be laying him to eternal rest,  I'm not sure we would have been brave enough to say yes to bringing home our beautiful son.  It pains me to say that,  but it's truth.  We weren't heroes - we were just ordinary people who wanted to be obedient to God's calling and give love.  We are immeasurably grateful that we chose faith over fear, and our "unknowing" was a gift from our gracious God to help us give our glorifying YES to Daniel - surely one of the very best choices of our lives.  Sharing his story in a memoir was only the next right thing to do in order to preserve each precious detail of how he changed us - how the beauty of his soul oozed all over us.  And then, six years after his passing, our charity to bless orphaned and abandoned children was born in memory of Daniel and all the other heart warriors gone too soon.  Sometimes I wonder if,  deep down,  I do all this work in his memory because I feel guilty that he's not here.  And, honestly?  Maybe that's part of it buried in the brain somewhere. But, what I do feel is tremendous honor - that God chose us to be his parents and that my job to mother him now has become about ministering to the voiceless children on Earth who deserve to have a mama too - they are royalty in the eyes of our Father.

It's my adoptive mama friends (Daddies, too) who understand this place the most.  They've taken risks of the heart themselves and they know what it's like to dance on the edge of a cliff with a medically-fragile or special needs child.  They know what it's like to fall head over heels with an image - a dream that comes to life in a paper pregnancy and a grueling process that gives you no choice but to cry out to our Heavenly Father for help along the way.  Some of them have sent off little ones to Heaven, too,  and it's in our solidarity that we weep with grateful hearts for the immeasurable gift of our children we were given the chance to love.

Mamas out there,  I know it sounds so - I don't know - "cliche" to say hug your children like it's your last day.  I say that preaching to myself because on exhaustion-filled days,  I still fail too,  but it's so important to remember.  If I could go back and give myself advice, I'd say, "Please, Lisa, take more pictures with you in them."  I was always behind the camera snapping away,  and Lord,  how I wish I had more of them to treasure and study.  Go and do it now.  I would also tell myself to "lighten up."  As a hyper-vigilant and over-protective mama,  I thank God he has an earthly Daddy who treated him like a rough and tumble boy.  He loved that so so much.

I'm not living in the past,  because Daniel still very much IS to me.  I joke and tell people that he's the most well-behaved of our children.  How can that not be true when you are up there shining brightly in the light of Jesus?  Our love story wasn't "supposed" to end,  and it hasn't really.  It's just changed from how we once thought it would be.  My mind's baffled by the fact that we've been without him so much longer than we were with him.  But, then again, we're not without him, right?  He's still such a strong part of us, and Lord knows we're connected by the pieces of our hearts he took with him up there.  The wounds are there, but they have healed so very much and they are now faded scars that I wear with gratitude.  Ten years - I know there's people in our lives who read my writings on these anniversaries each year and wonder how and why we're not "over" this loss - like there's some sort of time limit on love.  The world tells us to "move on" to "get over it."  But,  get over what?  Love??  I think you and I both know that isn't what the Good Lord intended for our tender hearts.  He wants them cracked open and exposed so His love can seep into the crevices,  take up space,  and begin to heal our wounded souls through His grace.  And those wounds are the most tangible proof that we have loved!  Why would we ever wish to diminish that or make it go away?  I do not believe that is His desire for us. We all lose loved ones in this lifetime,  and it's our choice to either blossom from that painful experience in the loving hands of our Father, or let it stronghold us at the roots and wither away in our own grief.  This child was so loved and we will wear that love like a badge of honor every day of our lives

 

On this ten-year mark of our Daniel's Heaven Day,  I'm just plain thankful.  It makes my heart swell to see how our work at Open Hearts for Orphans continues to grow through the goodness and generosity of so many people who - in one way or another - loved Daniel too and wish to help us keep his spirit alive. His chapter in our lives is not one that happened,  but rather one that still happens daily through our God-glorifying work and will continue...as long as I'm alive and able.  Serving through charitable works in Daniel's memory may seem like a "consolation prize" to some - and perhaps it is compared to having him physically here with us,  but it's in the giving of ourselves to "the least of these" and laying our grief at the foot of the cross for others that we find the most soul-satisfying comfort from our gracious and loving Father.  We know that the ultimate prize is waiting for us up there, where our son is basking in glory with His Heavenly Father.  

Perhaps today we would be having a graduation party for our son. But I guess he received the ultimate graduation when he entered Heaven's gates ten years ago. And we shall celebrate our Forever Family together with him again someday.

- Lisa Murphy

Stories of Yes #48

Casey Cleveland, the Lead Pastor of The Avenue Church in Delray Beach, preaches the gospel to his congregation and also lives the gospel in his own personal life. Pastor Casey says, "We felt God calling us to adopt out of foster care. We fostered our son Cade (currently 5 yrs old) almost from birth first, and then his sister Cora (currently 4) came along about a year later. My wife and I were able to adopt Cade and Cora two years ago and have been richly blessed by having the opportunity to share the love of God that we first received in Christ. They are God’s best YES for our family, and we are forever grateful!"

The Avenue Church not only supports adoption and foster care missions, but - when not in a pandemic - they also host a monthly "Foster Parents' Night Out" providing much-needed respite care to local foster families. They say, "Not everyone is called to be a foster parent, but each of us can spend an evening per month supporting a foster family."

Stories of YES #47 - Real Life Foster Mom

If y'all don't know Chelsea, the "Real Life Foster Mom," you should. She shares from the heart, so transparently and REAL. Today she's sharing a piece of her story here with you, and it's a glimpse into domestic foster care and the needs of the "modern day orphans" here in the US who may not be orphaned by definition - but they are still vulnerable and need us too. ❤️

"I had been sitting in the emergency room for eight hours when I got the call for a six month old baby boy. “Of course we can take him tonight, I’m sure I’ll be out of here in a few hours” I explained. Our friends & family thought we had finally lost it. I mean, not everyone views hopping off of a hospital bed to pick up your sixth kid as sane; but this is what we do, we’re a foster family, we say yes, even when it’s not the most convenient.

I stopped on my way home for some diapers, wipes, formula & a playpen. I was now prepared to love this sweet baby boy just like all of my other children & that’s what I did. What I wasn’t prepared for, was just how far my love would spread. You see, I’ve watched kids come, some stayed forever & some I watched leave. I loved all of them hard & fought even harder for what was in their best interest; but my very first prayer when we started fostering was to walk alongside biological families & I never had that chance. In fact, it had been years since I even had the opportunity to take a child to a parent visit.

When I walked through the door to drop him off for their first visit, the feeling of nervousness quickly changed to complete contentment & love for his mom. I saw how much he looked like her, how much she missed him & how his face lit up when she kissed his chunky cheeks.

This right here is the side of foster care I needed to see. The side I didn’t know I was missing out on—to journey alongside biological families through healing & reunification.

We can’t ever expect saying ‘yes’ to be easy, but we can always expect it to change lives." 

- Chelsea Floro 

Find Chelsea as "Real Life Foster Mom" on Facebook

Stories of YES #46 - Foster Care Diaries

My husband and I started our adoption journey almost five years ago. We got our foster license in August of 2015 and received our first placement less then a week later. We got the call saying, "A newborn preemie baby boy needs to be picked up at the hospital later today." Naturally, our response was, "We will be there!" They told us he weighed seven pounds, and I was ready for him with an assortment of boy clothes in a variety of sizes that we'd stored away in anticipation of this very day. My husband came home from work early, and we drove to pick up this baby boy who desperately needed us. We arrived at the hospital, and they brought out a tiny little four-pound munchkin - Immediately it was love at first sight! He was so scrawny and needy, but he was just absolute perfection in my eyes.

"Reunification" was the goal for this precious boy, and we knew that going in. We were prepared mentally if that were the end result; however, after about six months in our home, the goal for him changed to adoption. As the process went on, there were many ups and downs, with plenty of "roller coaster" feelings and new surprises showing up. Along with all the legal situations we dealt with for two years, our son had many medical needs that came with a 29-week, substance-exposed, low birth weight, and premature infant. We had tons of doctor appointments, therapies, and even an unforgettable scare that he was going to need skull surgery.

This child is - and will always be - our Superman! He’s overcome so much in his short lifetime and it's hard to believe he’s almost five years old now. We still have some issues we are working on with him - but our son is an amazing soul, he’s physically strong, and smart as a whip! He is also incredibly determined, and sometimes when this characteristic of his drives us crazy (kdding), we remind ourselves that’s WHY he survived...because he is a fighter!!

My husband and I have had eight foster placements after him - some for short periods of time, and others for longer. All of them have had varying situations, some very similar to our son's, but with different end results. And, as difficult as it can be to let go sometimes, we know it’s God’s plan in the end, not ours. Foster care life is definitely not for the faintest of hearts - but the rewards of the heart have been beyond amazing! Witnessing how our love and devotion has helped each child who comes through our home - no matter how long they stay - is enough for us, and will always be.

- Alissa Marks Silvestri

Stories of YES #45 - Brave

 

It shows up in so many different ways in each of our lives, doesn't it? This personal example of "brave" strikes a chord in my heart every day - the profound courage of orphaned or abandoned children being adopted into families. With merely the clothes on their backs and a few sparse items in their possession (some items sent to them by their new families), they pack it all up and say goodbye to everything they've known.
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Everything.
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With intertwined excitement and uncertainty about the new prospects for their lives and futures, they wave off their friends and their nannies - all of the people who've become their "normal" out of necessity - and they say goodbye to every known surrounding - all for the promise of a family.
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So bravely, they go.
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This picture hits my heart harder on what our family calls "Gotcha Day" of each passing year. It's the day that we got her, and she got us. And today - now knowing our child so well - I can see right through her initial expressions to how terrified she must have been. I feel like God puts special blinders on adoptive parents so they are supernaturally able to look beyond the fear and march in to meeting their children with compassionate confidence and unwavering reassurance. At least, that was me.
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I am certain our daughter had no possible concept of what was to come...probably the encouragement of caretakers painting a beautiful, bright picture of America, telling her to be on her best behavior so we wouldn't send her back. She was on the brink of tears but didn't shed one. We thank God that it took only moments for our daughter to have felt safety with us, thanks to our reserved and reassuring approach, along with the gift of a new backpack filled with little toys and food. We saw smiles soon. It doesn't always happen that way.
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She refers to that time in her life - when she came home - as being a "baby." She was almost six years old and claims she couldn't speak yet - likely because she hadn't found her voice in an institutional setting, coupled with a tremendous language barrier. She regressed in many ways, which was completely understandable. I'm not sure she knew there was even a difference between girls and boys, and she certainly didn't know she had something called a "birthday." She couldn't do a million things that she knows how to do now, simply because she'd never been exposed to them. It still stuns me that she didn't know how to use a crayon when we met.
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Four years later, we're looking at a second grader, a Sunday-schooler, a soccer player, a baseball player, a YouTube video maker, a leader, a dancer, an emerging reader, an artist, a friend to many, an LOL lover, a great protector, an eater of all-things-healthy, a determined little girl with a voice to be heard, a smile that can light up the world, and more important than anything else - a family member. She dreams about becoming a teacher, or a hair stylist, or a YouTube star, but mostly - a mom.
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Yes, this is what brave looks like. We thank God for revealing it to us through our precious children. On this day in our corner of the world, it's about our youngest and her journey home. And we're fueled with the renewed passion that children belong in families, not in orphanages. Lord knows, there are so many reasons why we could have said no, and it's not all "rosy" by a long stretch, but we are so richly blessed by this child's life in ours. Because together she continues to blossom; together we continue to grow in love. And today? SHE is our face of brave.

Lisa Murphy