Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Stories of Yes #50 - Pool conversation


“Oh, how old is he?”
“He’s six. “
“Is he in school yet?”
“I’m homeschooling him and he’s delayed a bit, especially with speech.”
“Why is he delayed?”
“Well, he has Down syndrome and he has some institutional delays.”
“He has Down syndrome?!? But he looks so normal!”

Mmhmmmm. I’ve gotten this observation before. I’m never quite sure how to respond and I wish, wish, wish this statement wasn’t within earshot of him.

And I know there’s no ill intent when people say this, I know it’s said as if it’s a compliment or something but if you dig deeper into this statement, the observer is implying that others with DS look “abnormal”. (Even though everyone can see they are uniquely beautiful)

And I do wish that people could see, really see Lian for the miracle that he is. I wish you could clearly comprehend how he survived what he survived to get to where he is today. That he’s a fighter. That he has endured massive losses, that he fights harder, longer, deeper for every goal in his brief six years than most of us have in our decades of existence.

To reduce his existence down to how he looks, his “normal” appearance to American eyes.....I wish I could somehow communicate how he basically somehow survived a chromosomal storm in utero and made it to birth. He survived a baby drop box. He survived an orphanage for three years. He’s a fighter. He struggles to learn, to speak, but he tries and tries again. He loves with his whole stubborn heart even though he has lost not one but two mothers in the first three years of his life.

And he still loves. He still gives.

So, no, he’s not normal. He’s amazingly abnormal in every way. Look past the outward appearance to the heart.

- Cady Driver

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