It’s been one year without you today. It still doesn’t feel real. Our hearts are still torn wide open exactly like they were the day you left. They will never be whole again. You brought more joy in our lives than we thought possible. You showed us the miraculous side of adoption, where love is not restrained by blood or DNA. You showed the hard side as well, where we saw the effects of trauma and loss on someone who seemed almost too tiny to be able to handle that great weight.
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We understood just how significant your complex heart was. We KNEW the words “non-correctable” and “palliative surgery” went with your diagnosis. And honestly that knowledge made the leap of faith harder. It was a medical need we had adamantly said we could never handle. But we felt the Lord’s nudge and we clung to the HOPE of His healing. And we know that He did heal you, completely. But none of that makes losing you any easier.
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You were worth every ounce of pain that we experienced and are still experiencing. You always will be. We know that we will be grieving you the rest of our lives and that our hearts will always be forever broken. But you taught us that LOVE is far greater than fear…or even death. Because of you we are braver than we ever thought we could be. Because of you we had the courage to adopt your baby sister, when all her unknowns would have terrified us before.
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Because of you we still cling to the HOPE of God’s promises. Only now it’s the hope of our heavenly home. Where all of our pain will be undone. Where we will all be right and whole again just like we should be.
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“The light shines in the darkness and the dankness will not overcome it” –John 1:5
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We cling to that light with our whole hearts. Every day is one day closer.
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We love you Obi…..and we always will.
- Sarah Holmes
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