Monday, December 31, 2012

Blessings in the New Year

On New Year's Eve, three years ago, Jimmy and I had just received word--that day--that we would travel to China to bring Daniel home in January.

We were both ready to explode with joy and anticipation as we rang in the New Year together.

It is hard to fathom that, three years later, my anticipation of welcoming a new year is without Daniel's physical presence in our family.

It is still so hard to believe that one of my top resolutions for 2013 will be the sharing of Daniel's precious life through his story, without actually having him here with us. I thank God for helping me write With an Open Heart, which keeps me so closely connected to our son.

I constantly pray for guidance from above, because I feel like I need to do so much more with the book, but I lack...well...direction. And I am fully aware that I need to trust God to put it into the right hands. I struggle constantly to allow that process to happen on its own. I suppose that's part of being a Mommy...and Daniel is still my baby--here on Earth or not.

Our financial giving efforts from book sales have been much like me...scattered.  Because there are so many worthy and legitimate causes out there, and we feel a strong tug towards certain needs, like heart surgeries for babies, orphan care, and fundraising for adoption.

Yesterday was the Feast of the Holy Family. Jimmy and I attended Mass by ourselves, and we listened to a beautiful homily about God, our Father, and His eternal love for us. His earthly family is our example, and our adoption into His family is our gift.

I must admit that, at times during Mass, I found my mind wandering about extending our family. It's not a subject that's never come up in our house before. Jimmy loves to chime in that he will happily adopt another child...when we win the lottery.  In fact, Madi just questioned Charlie the other day about whether he wanted another baby in the house.  I had to remind my daughter that Mommy and Daddy are just a little too old, and tired, for another baby.  But we're not necessarily too old for an older child...a waiting child sandwiched right between Madi and Charlie.

Could the answer to our giving, in Daniel's memory, be adopting another child in our own home?

Is God, perhaps, asking us to open our hearts to the idea of another child with the proceeds from the book?

It sounds like I have a lot to pray about in 2013.  And I will trust in Him to lead the way...

Wishing all of you a blessed New Year!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Embracing Advent

I have to confess...

This year, I've struggled with embracing Advent. As hard as I've tried to stay focused on preparing my heart for the coming of Christ, I have constantly been sidetracked.

And busy.  And preoccupied

The other day, I read the first lines of an amazing blog I frequent, and read this:

"Whenever Christmas begins to burden, it's a sign that I've taken on something of the world and not of Christ."

And just like that, I felt totally exposed...and completely guilty. That line hit me like a ton of bricks, because, I, too, have done exactly that.

Why is it so difficult to let go of the stresses of everyday life? To not lose patience or get angry with my precious little ones? To relinquish the stuff that really doesn't matter, and to just live freely and embrace each moment?  Why is it so tough in this world to just let it all go and let God? 

For Heaven's sake, I've lost a child. How can I afford to take a single moment for granted?  Especially after what we've gone through as a family?  And after the tragic events that took place last week?

Earlier today I felt very agitated, and I really couldn't identify why. But I knew that I needed to head back to church after Mass. With my sweet husband's encouragement, I drove over to the Adoration Chapel to spend some quiet time in the presence of our Lord.  I felt such incredible peace in being there. And I was finally able to open my heart back up, and face the flaws of my human nature. Of course, my enlightenment came with many tears.  I kinda felt like Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life.

As I reflect on the fourth Sunday of Advent, I accept that I am perfectly imperfect.  And I will keep trying to do better.  For you, Lord Jesus, I will do better.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Barnes & Noble

I was thrilled to find out, just yesterday, that the book has made it onto the shelves of the Barnes and Noble store in Boca Raton!

Several weeks ago, I spoke to my neighbor about the book. Although I wasn't sure what her position was, I knew that she worked at that Barnes and Noble location.  She asked me questions about the book, which I answered, and I went on my way.

I didn't have my friend's phone number to follow up, and I realized that I didn't have her email address either.  I really didn't feel like showing up at her door, since she has a young baby, and  I figured that she knows where to find me if she needed anything. I also had that "if it's meant to be" feeling about it all.

So yesterday, I saw my friend pull into her driveway, and I knew that I needed to take the opportunity to follow up.

And she kindly shared that she had ordered a couple books from the warehouse. With an Open Heart is officially on their shelves!

Now...a small favor I ask of my local friends...would someone please go buy them, so they will order more???!!!

Daniel's story makes a really great Christmas gift:)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

a brush with a pro

Last night, Madi and I attended the musical performance of my seriously talented nephews, Murphy and Myles. And I'm not just saying that because I am their proud, gloating aunt. These two boys have big, bright futures ahead of 'em.

The concert was sponsored by Sue and James Patterson. Yes...that James Patterson. The man who's sold more books than any other author. The writer whose books have sold an estimated 260 million copies worldwide.

Quite honestly, I am not a big reader. But I do know who James Patterson is.

So, when I found myself--after the performance--standing about ten feet away from this icon, what's a rookie like me to do?

You betcha' I approached that man!  I mean, when else on earth might I ever be in that very situation again?

I marched right over there, shook his hand, and announced that I just wrote a book. I also asked if I could give him my card (the business card for the book), which he accepted.

As Jimmy pointed out, I've got a 50/50 shot of him actually looking at that card...or throwing into his circular file.

I'll take my chances. I think those are pretty good odds;)

Thursday, December 6, 2012

All closed up!

 

Remember that Atrial Septal Defect (hole) in Charlie's heart that was reported on his paperwork in China?

I talked about it in the book, because once we brought Charlie home, neither his pediatrician nor his cardiologist could confirm that he actually had a hole in his heart.

Well now, it's been confirmed that he doesn't. 

When we initially took Charlie in, the cardiologist asked us to bring him back when he turned three, so we took Charlie in this week.  They did an EKG and an echo-cardiogram and confirmed that his ASD is really gone. 

GONE. 

Completely healed.

Thank you, Jesus.

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