Blessings in the New Year

On New Year's Eve, three years ago, Jimmy and I had just received word--that day--that we would travel to China to bring Daniel home in January.

We were both ready to explode with joy and anticipation as we rang in the New Year together.

It is hard to fathom that, three years later, my anticipation of welcoming a new year is without Daniel's physical presence in our family.

It is still so hard to believe that one of my top resolutions for 2013 will be the sharing of Daniel's precious life through his story, without actually having him here with us. I thank God for helping me write With an Open Heart, which keeps me so closely connected to our son.

I constantly pray for guidance from above, because I feel like I need to do so much more with the book, but I lack...well...direction. And I am fully aware that I need to trust God to put it into the right hands. I struggle constantly to allow that process to happen on its own. I suppose that's part of being a Mommy...and Daniel is still my baby--here on Earth or not.

Our financial giving efforts from book sales have been much like me...scattered.  Because there are so many worthy and legitimate causes out there, and we feel a strong tug towards certain needs, like heart surgeries for babies, orphan care, and fundraising for adoption.

Yesterday was the Feast of the Holy Family. Jimmy and I attended Mass by ourselves, and we listened to a beautiful homily about God, our Father, and His eternal love for us. His earthly family is our example, and our adoption into His family is our gift.

I must admit that, at times during Mass, I found my mind wandering about extending our family. It's not a subject that's never come up in our house before. Jimmy loves to chime in that he will happily adopt another child...when we win the lottery.  In fact, Madi just questioned Charlie the other day about whether he wanted another baby in the house.  I had to remind my daughter that Mommy and Daddy are just a little too old, and tired, for another baby.  But we're not necessarily too old for an older child...a waiting child sandwiched right between Madi and Charlie.

Could the answer to our giving, in Daniel's memory, be adopting another child in our own home?

Is God, perhaps, asking us to open our hearts to the idea of another child with the proceeds from the book?

It sounds like I have a lot to pray about in 2013.  And I will trust in Him to lead the way...

Wishing all of you a blessed New Year!