Stories of Yes #51 - HOPE in the village

"All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to be was a mom. For years, I was a temporary mom, filling in the gap for so many. Taking risks, giving my heart away, saying yes, getting attached, so that a child could know the love of a mother. And it was so worth it. Every heartache, every sleepless night, will always be worth it if it means a child gets a chance to know love.
Now here I am at 24, forever mom to 3 amazing kiddos here on earth, and 2 angels that ran ahead of me to heaven. I’m living a miracle that feels like a dream.
.
If you’re considering foster care or adoption, or chasing whatever calling God has placed on your life, my advice to you is this: go all in, say yes, do the hard. You will never regret the love you give away, or the time you invest in the life of a child. Jesus is infinitely greater than anything this world has to offer. He doesn’t promise us that it will be easy, but he promises us it will be worth it." 

- Addisyn López

Stories of Yes #50 - Pool conversation

“Oh, how old is he?”
“He’s six. “

“Is he in school yet?”
“I’m homeschooling him and he’s delayed a bit, especially with speech.”
“Why is he delayed?”
“Well, he has Down syndrome and he has some institutional delays.”
“He has Down syndrome?!? But he looks so normal!”

Mmhmmmm. I’ve gotten this observation before. I’m never quite sure how to respond and I wish, wish, wish this statement wasn’t within earshot of him.

And I know there’s no ill intent when people say this, I know it’s said as if it’s a compliment or something but if you dig deeper into this statement, the observer is implying that others with DS look “abnormal”. (Even though everyone can see they are uniquely beautiful)

And I do wish that people could see, really see Lian for the miracle that he is. I wish you could clearly comprehend how he survived what he survived to get to where he is today. That he’s a fighter. That he has endured massive losses, that he fights harder, longer, deeper for every goal in his brief six years than most of us have in our decades of existence.

To reduce his existence down to how he looks, his “normal” appearance to American eyes.....I wish I could somehow communicate how he basically somehow survived a chromosomal storm in utero and made it to birth. He survived a baby drop box. He survived an orphanage for three years. He’s a fighter. He struggles to learn, to speak, but he tries and tries again. He loves with his whole stubborn heart even though he has lost not one but two mothers in the first three years of his life.

And he still loves. He still gives.

So, no, he’s not normal. He’s amazingly abnormal in every way. Look past the outward appearance to the heart.

- Cady Driver

Stories of Yes #49 - Keeping it Real

“Are they REAL sisters?” the woman asks with a big, enthusiastic smile. We are at a new school and she runs the summer program. She has fallen in love with the girls and wants to know all about their past. She is warm and kind and my stomach sinks. I have been doing this for 24 years: educating people about adoption.
.
I say “of course” as she pushes on what she really means: “But were they sisters in China? Are your five girls BIOLOGICALLY related?” Hope and Ellie stand there wanting this answer, too. Listening to the “realness” of their family be dissected.
.
“They are sisters now,” I say firmly. “Real sisters!” She doesn’t get it. She has more questions. The snarky part of me wants to answer with: “So tell me how you were conceived. How did you end up in your family? A little too much wine on Friday night? Are you sure that’s your REAL dad?”
.
Because here is the thing: no one would say that. It’s nosy and unkind and none of my business. So why doesn’t anyone understand that’s how it is for adoptees? Their stories are painful. There isn’t a way around this truth: to gain a family you must lose a family. You must lose everything. And that isn’t a story to tell in the pick-up line with other kids and parents within ear shot.
.
Let me, once again, speak our truth: we are a REAL family. We love. We grieve. We fight. We forgive. We extend grace. Even here, we extend grace. Keeping it real..." 

- Cindy Newland