Stories of YES #30 - The Shift of "What if"

"The doubts are real. And I think we had every one of them...
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*What if it’s too much?
*What if her needs are more than we can handle?
*What if we can’t afford it?
*What if it negatively affects the children we already have?
*What if we don’t have time for one more child?
*What if she doesn’t attach to us?
*What if she needs to live with us forever?
*What if we never have time for us?
*What if it’s too hard?
*Are we equipped for this??
*Can we do this??
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But then one day my husband said to me, “But what if we don’t listen to God’s call?” At that moment, the questions didn’t go away, but they changed...
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*What if this little girl never gets to know what it means to be a part of a family?
*What if she never has someone to tuck her in at night, to hold her and to tell her about Jesus?
*What if she never gets to hear someone tell her she is beautiful, wonderfully made and so very loved?
*What if our children never get to experience the joy of having a sister with Down Syndrome?
*What if we miss out on the chance to take a leap of faith and let God change us?
*What if we trust the God that told us to do this, to carry us through?
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After having Annie in our arms for a year, sometimes one question still lingers in my mind - what if we hadn’t said yes? And I look at this little girl - my daughter - and I cannot even IMAGINE our world without her now."

- Joy Pollock

Stories of YES #29 - Amazing Grace

"I have always loved people with special needs. As I was growing up (and even to this day) when I see a group of people with special needs at stores, amusement parks etc, I just smile. They seem so lovable. I would wonder if they were being treated nicely, and I would always try to find a way that I could interact with them. Usually, it was just a smile and a hello.
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When we decided to say yes to our daughter Grace, our world changed a bit. She was 3 1/2 and suffered from neglect and cerebral palsy. The neglect was far worse than the CP. She would cry at anything that was different - car rides were even frightening for her. Grace's favorite thing to do was hide under the table and knock on the wall. She couldn’t walk, talk, use a toilet, suck a bottle, drink from a cup or chew food. She would not play with toys - she just threw them across the room. She would not watch TV, she would not look you in the eye and she would not laugh unless you tickled her, made a loud knock on the wall, or slammed shut a door or cupboard.
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But that was six years ago.
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Grace is called "Amazing Grace” for so many reasons. Her progress seemed slow (I’m told by therapists it was fast). Every session she could do just a tiny bit more than she did the week before. She had Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Speech and Feeding Therapy, where she learned to chew food. At first everything was pureed, then soft mechanical and now, she can chew almost all foods. After eating mush the first three years of her life, she now enjoys good food!
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Grace is still non-verbal but uses a mechanical device that helps her communicate her needs. She knows 5 or 6 sign language signs. Our daughter loves school and thrives on routines. She is solving addition facts to 10, knows her letters, and she can answer comprehension questions from text with her communication device. She loves to play teacher by doing calendar every morning, and she knows how to work the technology devices in her classroom!
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Nine months ago, Grace learned to walk, and it has helped open up a new world to her. She wants to run so badly, so she often gets ahead of herself and stumbles - but she tries so hard. She is beginning to interact with her siblings and classmates, and now makes eye contact about 75% of the time. She plays with some toys and occasionally can be seen watching the TV. She giggles a lot now (sometimes when she’s being naughty). Grace loves her family and her teachers, and she will blow kisses and wave her hand when prompted.
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My other children (my biological and my two adopted children who have Down syndrome) have learned compassion and patience through their sister. They always think to include Grace, which usually means finding a way that they can adapt the situation so she can play along They are very patient when she ”messes up" their stuff or takes a long time to complete a task. When my son was in first grade he wrote in his journal that he wanted to invent a machine that helped people learn to talk like his sister Grace.
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Grace is now nine years old and she continues to learn and grow in ways we never dreamed of. I cannot imagine what our life would have been like without her, and I can’t imagine what her life would look like today if she was never adopted. We have all been so blessed by her life. She matters to us, and our Amazing Grace matters to God."

- Candy Thomas Woertman

 
(this family is currently fundraising to bring another child home. If you feel led to help, here is the link to their fundraising page: https://reecesrainbow.org/130336/sponsorwoertman-3)

Stories of YES #28 - View from a Courtroom

"It was well over a year ago when I met them at Duffy's restaurant to first talk about adoption over appetizers. As the conversation began to blossom in those hours, I witnessed the opening of hearts, and I felt like I could tangibly see the Lord working already through them - the sparkle in their eyes read "hope," and I could see the willingness of their spirits to dive into the unknowns and discover all that God had in store for them. We went our separate ways, and it was only months later that they were matched with their precious boy.
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Today I had the privilege of gathering with them in a court room where they - tearfully - made it official to dedicate their lives and make him their own son forever - to give God their shout-it-out-loud YES to the precious gift they’ve been given. I witnessed firsthand the unconditional love of this boy's village made up of family, close friends, and members of their faith community. Today, his forever begins.
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During National Adoption Month, we never want to gloss over the realities that first had to happen in order for adoption to be, but we must always glorify God for the good that's been done.Today we celebrate the truth that this little boy is so very loved, and he is - now and forever - a treasured son.
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Happy Forever family day, sweet boy. I am so thankful your parents didn't miss this. I know they will never be the same."

 - Lisa Murphy

Stories of YES #27 - WE are the lucky ones

"I still remember the anguish I felt when I learned Lou and I couldn’t conceive. I was that kid who always played at home, stuffing a pillow under her shirt and pretending to be pregnant. I couldn’t wait to be a mom! I had the best mom in the world and I’m convinced she was the reason why I wanted so badly to become a mom... so I could be just like her.

Much as I sometimes still wonder what a “mini-me” of Lou and Laura might have been and looked like, I can wholeheartedly say that if I had to do it all over, I’d choose adoption again as a way of growing our family. The immense joy our girls have brought us can’t be described with words. We’d be so lost without them. They are the light of our lives and really, they — Emily Xin Nian from Nanchang, China and Giulia Tu Tu from Changsha, China — are undeniably little Italian/Argentine pasta, eggplant and prosciutto loving, mini versions of Lou and I - just with Asian features!

In light of National Adoption Month, I just want to say what a proud mommy I am and how grateful I am to God for my girls every day. I know adoption isn’t for everyone (I’ve, sadly, had people say to me “if it’s not my child/blood, I don’t want him/her”), but - honestly - they have no clue how much they’re missing out on. People have said, “Your girls are so lucky to have you” but WE are the ones who have been immeasurably blessed with these kiddos who were destined to be ours. Yes, WE are the lucky ones, and I am forever thankful that my girls have allowed me to be their mommy." 

- Laura Zapatero Assante

Stories of YES #26 - Define "Real"

This wondrous and true perspective was written by a big sister in response to an incident at a party where some girls played a game they call family and there were “real” kids and “adopted” kids. Her little sister was upset and fortunately her best friend saw this and ordered the game to end. The family was not angry about the incident, just sad as they know it won’t be the first or last time these things happen in her life. Enter her big sister, who heard what happened and came home from college to have a “sister day” with her eight-year-old sibling. Later, she wrote this thoughtful post:

"The definition of the word "real" is straightforward. It is not a word that is commonly misused. This being said, there are certain contexts where the word holds power. Power to hurt. Power to confuse. Power to make one overthink. The situation I am referring to is adoption.
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I hear this term used all the time when referring to biological versus adopted children. “Are they your real child?” The question a person is intending to ask is “Are they your biological child?” This does not anger me. I understand that not everyone in the world has had a reason to ponder this word in depth like I have. Hearing this word used in this way simply drives me to educate.
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Children who are adopted are real children for many reasons. First, in the most obvious sense, they have a heart that beats and lungs that breathe, they are real humans. The second concept is where I hear the most people struggle. Children who are adopted are real members of the family. To quote the definition above, I will say that my sister, who is adopted, is not my ‘imagined or supposed’ sister. I think very few people can argue that fact. She is the realest, coolest, smartest, funniest sister out there.
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Being aware of how amazing my sister is makes it hard to see her upset. As an eight year old child, hearing the word "real" used in the way described above upsets her. She doesn’t get angry and yell, but the gears in her head start turning and going into overdrive. She ponders phrases like these with her whole heart. At eight years old she thinks about the validity of her family. I know that she knows she is our family, but the fact that others might be confused about that has an effect on her that is heartbreaking to me as her sister.
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Take time and choose your words carefully. Think about how they might be perceived. Parents, take five minutes out of your day to explain this to your child, your partner, your friends, your parents, the cashier at the grocery store. I would appreciate it and many others would as well."

- Morgan Bennett

Repost - Orphan Care Warfare

It's not easy to look the orphan crisis in the eyes. The truth is, it’s quite devastating if you really take time to digest the magnitude of this problem. Sometimes the most heartbreaking thing about fighting for special needs and orphaned children around the world is the nonchalance, lack of compassion and complete indifference to human life, simply because that life began in another country, in another culture, in another part of the globe.

As Christians, it shouldn’t just be our option to care about the vulnerable and the marginalized; it should be our very privilege and battle cry no matter where they are.  In fact, it’s our calling and commandment. 

Because in the end, we are not just Americans or Westerners or members of any one class or group. In the end, we are ALL just one of HIS. But slowly in this country, we’ve stopped running to ALL of His. We’ve become desensitized, and our senses of urgency have become tragically dulled to the ones who need us most. 

You may not know that international adoptions in the United States have decreased more than 80% since 2004, and many adoption advocates estimate that, at this rate, they may become completely extinct by 2022. Here in this space, we stand 200% behind the rights of children to grow up not as orphans but in families; not in institutions, but in homes. 

Research shows the long-term scars that institutional care and lack of early attachment leave on a child for the rest of his life. And although we believe that a loving family in a child’s birth country is the most beneficial so a child can easily maintain his culture and heritage, we know that it is not always possible. When an adoptive family is not viable or available in his or her home country, his human right to grow up in a family where he can enjoy attachment, protection and provision should not be relinquished. No child is better served by living in his home country as a forever orphan in an institution than by growing up in a different culture as a beloved son or daughter.

It's easy to sit back and wonder how one can even make a dent in this overwhelming problem. But the truth is, we cannot afford to sit back. We cannot afford to be silent. We cannot afford to do nothing. Because in many cases - and for many sick, needy and special needs superheroes - it could literally mean death.

Two passionate mamas, Michelle at Of Capes and Combat Boots and Lisa at Open Hearts for Orphans have created a special toolkit to inspire and guide you in the battle, because we absolutely must engage in the war to save international adoption. We know that - ultimately - adoption of EVERY kind has the ability to heal, transform and even save children’s lives. And if we don’t speak for the voiceless and the vulnerable, who will?

"Orphan Care Warfare" is a simple, prayerful, five-step guide to advocacy. As we take inventory of our everyday personal blessings, let us remember, and pray for, the forgotten ones — our little brothers and sisters in Christ scattered throughout the world. The Lord calls us to care for them.

Let’s put on the armor of God!

A Special Month

 

Though we believe every month is adoption awareness month at Open Hearts for Orphans, November is the month that is designated as National Adoption Awareness Month and we're thankful to celebrate adoption each year. We'd like to kick the month off by highlighting a few ways that you can choose to make this month extra-special: 

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Spread the love.

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This month we’ll continue sharing our #storiesofyes, our advocacy posts, and anything adoption related that comes our way.  If you’re on Facebook, and/or Instagram, we would love for you to join us and help us spread awareness, too! Adoption is a very important piece of what we support, so are grateful for any light given to our ministry, whether it's tagging us on social media or sharing a post here and there, we'll be thankful! 

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Be a champion. 

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National Adoption Month is a perfect time to recognize families involved with adoption! Whether you choose to donate for a family's adoption fund, help a newly-home family in some way, or send a note/sign of encouragement to someone who's currently in the process, it would be a real blessing to them!

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Donate to help more families adopt. 

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One of the largest barriers to adoption is the funding, and the costs associated with the process are  overwhelming, to say the least. We believe that all children belong in families and we're guessing you do too, or you probably wouldn't follow our mission! 

Our "Say Yes" grant program gives a gift to families to break down that barrier. Please consider giving a gift that will make a tremendous impact for families who are stepping out in faith. No amount is too small!

Share your story! 

Lastly, if you are an adoptive family, we encourage you to please share your story with us via email, so we can inspire others through our #storiesofyes series of adoption.

Thank you for honoring adoption for this gift that it is - this month...and EVERY month!