Stories of YES #38

My husband and I have four healthy biological children - three boys and one girl. My pregnancies weren’t perfect and I lost two babies in between, but in the end we had little people that we adore.

When our daughter was getting close to two, I felt that unmistakable pull to have another baby, but my husband did not. I begged and pleaded, he still had no desire. God started talking to me about foster care during this time, so I started talking about foster care to my husband. After a while I at least got him to the place of “we can go to the first meeting.” At that meeting, he was absolutely broken by the statistics that were presented to us and agreed we could begin fostering. In our state, five children is maximum capacity, and we already had four at home, so we knew any placement would only be for one child. We started down the road of becoming certified foster parents.

It was a long road, and due to circumstances beyond our control the process ended up taking more than a year. After all of our fostering classes were done, we had to complete all the home safety inspections and meetings with a social worker for our home study. During that time, I was praying that God would give me peace about not physically having another baby. God has to have a wicked sense of humor, He answered my prayers with a flashing neon sign! While we waited to be officially approved to foster, I received an out of left field diagnosis of stage zero cervical cancer, and I was lucky since it was found very early. The doctor said a hysterectomy would give me the best outcome - full recovery with a minute chance of recurrence. Pretty sure my husband had the procedure scheduled before I could process the information! I had the hysterectomy and recovered before we were officially approved in late December of 2015. And I not-so-patiently waited till February before we got our first placement.

It was after two short-term placements when we got the call that changed our lives forever. “There is a newborn baby, a little boy in the hospital.....” That was really all I heard before the mama bear in me came to life. There was baby in the hospital that needed to be held and loved on, and I was chosen to do this. He fit in with our family from day one. We did visits with his biological parents and therapies to make sure he was meeting milestones. We would go to court not knowing what the outcome would be. His biological parents loved him and wanted to regain custody, but ultimately relinquished their rights to us after close to two years. His adoption became final a few months later.

This little boy that I didn’t physically carry within my body owns a piece of my heart the same as his siblings. Adoption changed us. It changed the way we look at the struggles people face. It changed the way our family looks at other families, and our hearts immeasurably grew when our youngest son came home from the hospital that day. I pray that more people will at least go to that informational meeting that is offered and listen to how almost every family can make a difference in the lives of children in their communities.

- Melissa Poplin

Stories of YES #37

Yesterday my baby girl played alone in her room for a little while- (which never happens, she never wants to be alone ever again). When she came and found me in the next room she sat down quietly and said, “I made an orphanage mom. But in my orphanage there are enough nannies to take care of all the babies AND they love them.”

As a little girl, my world was small. There were no orphanages full of lonely babies longing to be touched and fed. There were no nights in the cold darkness listening to the loud shrieks and moans coming from all corners.

The utter feeling of being completely alone.

Some days the lives my girls lived before being placed in our arms smacks me square in the jaw. It’s there. The elephant in the room that you can never push out the door no matter how mightily you are willing to shove - and believe me, I’ve both wanted and tried.

So today I just closed the door, sat down, and softly cried for all things lost. For all things a “fixer” cannot - and was not meant to - fix. For the weight my girls carry in their hearts every single day. For orphanages full of lonely children longing to be loved. And for little girls silently hoping they will be. 

- Lisa Michelle

Stories of YES #36 - Dear Lian's Tummy Mom

{This post is a few days late, but too beautiful not to share.}

 

Today is, I'm sure, a hard day for you. It's a day that was a mixture of excitement, exhaustion, joy, and pain. It was the day you birthed your son.

I'm sure you held him in your arms and maybe tears fell from your eyes as you took in the wonder of all of him. I'm sure you felt the rush of motherly love when his tiny fingers first wrapped around yours, his head on your chest.

I'm sure that six years ago, you felt the joy of motherhood and I'm sure your heart was troubled when the doctors broke the news that the little one you carried under your heart for nine months had all the markers of Down syndrome.

For five weeks, you stretched our your time with him, savoring every moment, every smell, every kiss on his tiny forehead. We may never know the pressures you were under, but I know you loved him. We may never know what difficult life circumstances held you hostage from motherhood.

We may never know.

What we do know is that you left him in a place that was completely safe, you wished him a good life, you wrote that "he is my angel" and you begged the reader to take care of him, to give him milk and keep him warm. You said he was a "good baby".

We do know that.

The door of that baby drop box must have felt the heaviest walking out that day.

I know you'll probably never read this, but if you do, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for putting this sweet boy someplace safe. Somewhere where he'd be found and cared for until his forever family could get him.

I want you to know that he is treasured, loved and adored. I want you to know that I wish that this cruel world didn't take away all of your choices or help. I wish you could know him, all his funny ways. I wish you could have the jewels of his arms around your neck. I really do. I know that I am only second best.

I want to thank you for giving him life, for loving and caring for him until you had to make that hard choice.

He is an incredible little man and has forever changed us in all the best ways.

So, today, as we celebrate his birthday, I hope that somehow you know that he is safe and loved beyond measure.

I pray that your heart will rest in that even through the undeniable veil of aching that it holds. I'm thinking of you today, and praying for you.

Love,

Lian's Adoptive Mama

- Cady Driver

Stories of YES #35 - The Ripple Effect of Adoption

Matthew 18:5 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me.”

"God had always laid adoption on my heart as a future for my family. I just didn’t know who, what, where, when, or why. My husband, Joe, had always looked at me like I had grown three heads when I have, on a few seldom occasions, mentioned it in the past. So I asked God, if this is your plan for us, please make it abundantly clear.

But then October 2017… Our pastor’s sermon was a new challenge and initiative for the church to have a heart for the orphan, at-risk moms, and the unborn! As we walked out of the service, I told Joe that I thought we needed to pray about adopting. To my GREAT shock, he said okay! That sermon started on us on a crazy, wonderful, difficult, and trying adventure.

I have often laughed, because Joe’s initial thoughts on another kiddo were SO strange and funny to me - but true. He said, “You know I would have been fine with no kids. Being DINKs (Double Income, No Kids) was a wonderful life, but you said we need to start our family and have a child. And we did. Then, you said that we couldn’t have an only child, so we had another son. You know these boys are our life now. We’ll just love one more the same way.” With that, we began our adoption journey.

When I found out that China was still allowing adoptions, my heart immediately went to China. You see, my first cousin, Jessie, was adopted from China in 1998, and I had the amazing opportunity to travel with my aunt on her adoption trip. What a joyful event it was to experience the group adoption of eight baby girls! I have never forgotten the awe of seeing my sweet baby cousin for the first time.

Imagine how special it was that Jessie had her first trip back to China (twenty years later) to celebrate the adoption of our daughter, Paige Qi. These two beautiful Chinese gals have a very special bond!

Our precious little girl came home to us one year ago. She has been such a sweet blessing to us this past year. Without stepping out in faith and saying yes, we would have missed SO much joy!!"

 - Amanda Turner