Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

 

Thanks to all of you who remembered Daniel yesterday or said a prayer for him. One dear friend even reported a rainbow sighting. I was hoping that I would see one, too, but I didn't.

I wonder if some of you still feel sorry for us. Please don't. We are clearly not in a "woe is me" place. We're really not.

And some of you might think, "Will they ever move on?"  Trust me when I say that we have moved on. We just choose to bring Daniel with us. He is our son, now...and forever. Even if we can't see him.

I know that some of you might feel sympathetic for the painful emotions we've endured in the past three years, but haven't we all?  Haven't we all suffered in ways that bring us closer to God? I hope so, because I believe that's where faith is deepened and defined. It's through our suffering that we see the real beauty of His sacrifice and His love for us.

We truly feel like God is saying, "Daniel's here with me, and he's fine. You'll be fine, too, I promise. Trust me. It will be okay."

Here we sit three years after our son's mission in this life ended, and Jimmy and I still feel so very blessed.  

We were the ones who got to be Daniel's parents and love him to Heaven. And there's endless joy in that truth.

Trinity Sunday

Even though Daniel went to Heaven on May 30th according to the calendar, it was also Trinity Sunday that year. So we choose to celebrate our son's birth into Heaven on Trinity Sunday, which is a Holy day honoring the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It will mark three years of his passing.

Tomorrow's 8:30 a.m. Mass at St. Vincent's will be dedicated to Daniel, and if we arrive in plenty of time (fingers crossed), we will arrange to carry up the gifts to the altar.

Today was was the day in which Kathy (Jimmy's sister) flew in to meet Daniel for the first time. She had detected the urgency in Jimmy's voice that week, and decided to come down from Michigan. Kathy was able to hold Daniel's hand, kiss his face, and talk to him in person. What a blessing before he left us in the wee hours of the morning.

Interesting that Kathy is here with us today. She and Kelsey flew in for Murphy's graduation ceremony and party (you know Murphy...he's in the book:), so as timing would have it, we are reunited, again, to remember Daniel and our last days with him.

It occurred to me that, during the last three years, (while I certainly wouldn't judge someone for doing what they need to do as they muddle through the grieving process), I am so thankful that Jesus has been my anti-depressant, and faith has been my painkiller.

I don't know how we would have carried on without His love and His divine embrace. We are blessed to be in a spiritually good place.

Remembering you this weekend and always, Daniel James Weifeng Murphy. I promise to keep spreading your precious life through this world.  Beauty from ashes.

Mother's Day Blessings

Last week had been a rough couple of days for Jimmy and me, recounting the days of Daniel's surgery and his post-operative decline.

And I think the anticipation of Mother's Day, personally, gave me a whirlwind of emotions, too.

But the Holy Spirit definitely spoke to me last weekend, at Mother's Day Mass last Saturday.

One of the readings was from Ephesians, and it included the scripture verse that I'd selected, months ago, for the header of this blog homepage! Do you see it?

"May the eyes of your heart be illuminated, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, and the wealth of the glory of His inheritance with the saints" - Ephesians 1:18 

Of all the Bible verses, what are the chances of that? I kinda felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me everything was okay up there. And then on Sunday, I truly felt at peace and was able to spend Mother's Day enjoying time with my family at the beach. It was a happy day.

Last Monday, I drove up to New Smyrna Beach to give my testimony to about thirty Christian women from a group called Belong. 

It was an incredible experience, and for once I didn't feel nervous while speaking. Well, okay...maybe a little nervous. But nothing compared to my usual speaking phobia. I suppose because I felt quite humbled and honored to present at their Mother's Day luncheon to share our family's story, and my journey to motherhood--which includes my journey to a deepened faith. And I truly loved the way my presentation came together, thanks to help from the Holy Spirit and my devout friend, Carrie. I now feel like, based on the feedback I received, that I should actually break out of my shell even further to glorify God and entertain more speaking engagements. I'll work on that...

As usual, through the sharing of Daniel's story, I made some great new introductions. One woman, who was one of my "eye contact people" during my presentation, came over to tell me that her nephew owns an art gallery in Delray Beach. Of course, I had to know his name, and when she told me, Salvatore Principe, I knew exactly who he was!

In fact, one of the main subjects he's famous for painting...are you ready for this?  

Hearts. Yes, we have one of his hearts hanging in our bedroom!

I also connected with an older woman who suffered a similar loss of a young child many years ago, and just recently found Jesus. I was thankful that she related to our story, but more thankful that she had finally felt the peace and comfort that only our eternal Father can give.

And another woman approached me to say that her daughter's family is just beginning an adoption process!  Oh how I hope she'll contact me if she needs any support along the way!

Encounters such as these are what keep Daniel living and giving in my heart. I am amazed at how his little light shines and makes me a better person with each experience. And I am so eternally thankful that the Holy Spirit continues to lead the way in this journey.

Three years ago

Three years ago today, my emotions were stirring.

Jimmy and I were headed down to Miami with Daniel.

We'd just parted ways with Madi, and with my parents, at this very time. I can still remember the pit in my stomach. The innate fear of any parent facing major surgery.

Lord, can we please turn this car around? Can we just drive the other way and live happily ever after?

Our son was a different child that day. He possessed an air of confidence that was both noticeable and new.

I still remember our last meal together that evening. Jimmy and I slept with Daniel between us that night. If I'd only known the future, I would've made him sleep between us every night.

These are some of the last pictures we have with our son. We cherish them.

 

 

 

Daniel's open-heart surgery took place three years ago tomorrow, and well, if you know us, or if you've read the book, you know how our son's journey to Heaven unfolded before us in the nineteen days to come.

We can't change it. We can't go back. Our faith tells us to trust, and to believe.

And we do.

But that doesn't mean it's always easy.

Love you, Dan Dan.

Guest Post - The Sparrow Fund

Part of our mission, in Daniel's memory, is to support adoption causes and to assist families in their adoption processes. This is an initiative that is very close to our hearts. And I am so happy to have found an organization to partner with.

This month, we have the honor of being a nest-builder for The Sparrow Fund. For the month of May, we will donate 20% of our book sales (only through the PayPal link on this page due to track-ability) to their cause. I am so happy to have connected with The Sparrow Fund, and to have found a new partner that shares a similar passion. I pray that, in Daniel's memory, we can help pay forward this blessing called adoption, and help others build their nests.

Without further ado, I give you Kelly Raudenbush from The Sparrow Fund...

Have you ever considered adopting? Simply looking at the stats, about a third of you have. About 30% of Americans have seriously considered adopting. Yet, only 2% have actually adopted. That means that of those who say they’ve seriously considered adopting, 14 out of 15 don’t ever do it.

Why not? Well, it’s daunting—the financial cost, the impact this child will have on your family, the unknowns…so many unknowns. It’s no easy thing. We get that, because it was daunting for us.

As we walked that road ourselves and alongside other families like ours, we saw a need. That 2% of families who were taking that leap of faith to bring a child into their family through adoption—they needed more support. So, we took the leap of faith ourselves to do whatever we could to do just that.

Two years ago, The Sparrow Fund was started to give grants to families specifically for the purpose of family support through programs around the country that provide pre-adoption support and counsel, on-call support for families while they travel across the world to meet their children and bring them home, and support once they are home to help both the parents, new son or daughter, and family as a whole become a family.

Recognizing more need, we added programs to encourage and support families from those waiting to meet their children to those who have been home for years. We’ve helped families learn about the unique needs of children who have been adopted in the classroom and how to use correction as a vehicle of connection with their children in a way that is sensitive to them and their histories. And, we offered a weekend retreat for couples to be reminded of their calling as parents and refreshed to continue serving their children.

We’re not interested in growing the number of families adopting; that’s not our focus. Rather, our focus is on pouring into that 2% who are adopting; we want to love and serve them and do whatever we can to make the daunting a little less daunting. And, maybe, just maybe, as the daunting becomes less daunting and the support available becomes more readily available, we’ll see more of those families who have seriously considered adopting say, “maybe we can do this afterall.”

There’s something special happening this month. A whole bunch of folks are now coming alongside of us, saying, “Yes, we support adoptive families and the work of The Sparrow Fund to pour into them. And, we want to help.” This May, in our third annual fundraiser, about 50 businesses have made a commitment to help us build the nest so that we can help others as they build their nests. In addition to event sponsors, these business partners have made the commitment to give 10% of their total sales during the month of May to The Sparrow Fund so that we can do what we do.

That’s where you come in. We need you to click HERE In to see all the businesses and then we need you to shop purposefully. There’s really no better way to shop. Share the link with your friends. Let people know about this easy and fun way to help! Together, we can make that 10% something crazy big.

Forever changed by our experience of being adopted and adopting, Kelly Raudenbush is a stay-at-home mom/manager to 4 children and a professional juggler, juggling her calling as wife and mother with her secondary callings (editing and serving adoptive families through The SparrowFund). You can learn more about their adoption story, how they've been changed, and what life for them looks like on their personal blog, MyOverthinking (where she's going to have some super sweet giveaways this month, by the way).